


Home

by Irish_Heart39



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Comforting Castiel, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 15:19:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16043135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irish_Heart39/pseuds/Irish_Heart39
Summary: After 3 long months of no luck finding Dean, or Michael, Castiel decides to look for him on his own. It only takes another 3 months until his search is successful.*If you're triggered by mass murder, child murder or bombings, don't read*





	Home

"It's been three months, Cas! I mean, I'm sure it's going to be hard finding an archangel, so, we just need to give it a bit longer." Sam said, trying to convince Castiel to say, and not look for Dean on his own.

"That's exactly why I should go alone. I have more a chance of finding him." Cas said.

Michael had taken over Dean three months ago. Three long, agonizing months, and Cas had grown tired of zero results.

"What happens if you do find him, Michael. Are you going to face him by yourself? It'll be easier if we all do it together." Sam said.

"Then I'll call you, and you can come help me." Cas said.

Sam sighed. He knew he wasn't winning this.

"What if he finds you first? Then what will you do?" 

"I highly doubt that Michael will come looking for me." Cas said. It was true, why would he try to find Cas, even if there was a small chance that Cas could take him.

"Do you promise that you'll call us if you find anything, _anything._ " 

"Yes, Sam. I promise."

Sam nodded, "Ok, so do-" Before he could finish, Cas was off, searching for Dean, and a Michael.

 

 

It had been three months, and almost no luck. Sam had called during that time, asking if he found anything, telling him Jack and Mary were mad that he left without saying goodbye. But he hadn't really been thinking about that at the time. He wanted to find Dean.

Cas had been staying in a motel outside of Seattle after finding something that could've been Michael. He had planned to look tonight, hoping to find him.

He got everything ready, archangel blade in hand, though he really hoped he wouldn't have to use it. He knew he was supposed to tell Sam, but he just didn't want to put them in any kind of danger. And it could also have been too late by the time they got here.

Driving in an old rental car, he made it to the place where he suspected Michael could be. It was a cabin, very secluded, in the middle of a forest. While driving, he started thinking of a way of attack he could use. He was pretty much defensive less, only having his powers as a defense, and a blade he didn't want to use.

Cas decided to try and be sneaky, scout out the place, see if he was in there. 

When he got to the cabin, he saw a candle lit in the window. He slowly started stalking up to the cabin, making sure he wouldn't make any noise. When he reached the window, he peered inside. He didn't see anything. 

He continued moving around the cabin, looking through windows to see if he could see anything, anyone. But he didn't, and it frustrated Cas.

There must be something, why else would the candle be lit. He then decided to just go inside. 

Slowly, he opened the door, and hesitantly looked inside. Nothing happened. He started walking in further, then he heard a something, which sounded like it was coming from the back bedroom. 

Cas slowly started walking past, blade ready, looking into  each doorway he went past. 

When he reached the bedroom, he slowly opened the door, waiting for Michael to come out of nowhere and attack him, but it never came. He heard another sound, so he walked in further, until he saw something in the corner.

He walked over, still tense and ready to attack. But as he got closer he realized it was making sounds. Then he realized it was a person. 

Then he realized that was Dean.

Cas crouched down to him, and rolled him over. He was in horrible shape.

He was bloody, and bruised with dirt all over him.

"Dean, hey, it's ok, I'm here." 

Dean opened his eyes a crack, "Cas..." Then he drifted off.

Cas quickly picked him up and carried him to his car, to scared to teleport him in case he worsened his injuries.

After placing him in the back seat, Cas drove well over the speed limit and back to his motel, wanting to help his injuries.

When he got there, he brought Dean inside and placed him on the bed. Dean was still unconscious, and he looked even worse than when he first saw him, getting time to actually see him.

His clothes were all ripped and torn and bloody and dirty, and the places that weren't covered were covered in cuts and bruises. His face was covered in dirt and blood. It looked like he had to black eyes and multiple cuts on his lips. His whole face was bruised. Just looking at him physically hurt Cas. If he could've only convinced him not to say yes, this wouldn't have happened.

It was another's 2 hours before he woke up, and that was only for a few minutes, which were filled with panic and fear, which was even worse. It was another 4 fours that he was finally up for over five minutes.

"Cas..." Dean said.

"Its ok Dean, I'm right here. You're safe, he's not here.

Dean smiled, "I beat him Cas, I expelled him."

Cas smiled back, "Yes you did Dean, good job."

"Where am I?" Dean asked him.

"You're in a motel in Seattle, when your healed, we're going to go back to Lebanon, and you can see Sam, and Jack, and Mary." Cas said, hoping to make Dean feel better.

"I get to see my family..." Dean said, drifting back into unconsciousness.

"Yeah Dean, you do, and they're so excited to see you."

Before he drifted off again, Dean smiled.

Cas decided to call Sam after seeing that Dean was going to be ok.

Sam picked up almost immediately.

"Cas, what's wrong, did you find him?" He asked.

"Yeah Sam, I did. I found Dean."

It took a moment before Sam responded again, "You- you found Dean, not Michael?

"Yeah, I did." Cas said, smiling.

"Oh my god, really? Hold on let me get Jack and mom." 

Cas could hear Sam walking, then he heard him say. "Cas found Dean." Then he heard Mary scream and what sounded like crying. Then Mary was talking.

"Did you really find him, Castiel, did you really find my boy?" Mary said through tears.

"I did, Mary, I promise." Cas reassured her.

"Thank you, Cas, thank you. When will we get to see him?" Mary asked.

"I want to make sure Dean is fully healed before I take him on that big a car trip. I'll say a week." Cas said.

"Ok, ok. Thank you Cas!" Mary said again.

He heard Dean start to stir, so he thought he should wrap things up.

"I'll keep you updated, and I'll see you in about a week."'Cas said, and when he heard everyone say bye, he hung up.

He walked over to Dean and sat in the chair he placed by his bed. Dean opened his eyes, and all Cas could see in them was despair.

"He used me, Cas." Dean said, staring to cry, "He used me!" He tried turning away from Cas, but it didn't work with his injuries.

"Do you want me to..." Cas put his fingers up to Dean's head to heal him, but he pushed them away.

"I don't deserve to be healed. All the things he made me do..." Dean said, still crying.

"But, Dean, the quicker you heal, the quicker you get to see Sam, and Mary, and Jack." Cas asked, hoping it would convince him.

"I bet they don't even want to see me, they probably hate me." Dean said.

"They do Dean, I just talked to them, they're so excited to see you! I told them they'd see you in a few days." Cas pleaded. He didn't just want this for Dean, he wanted it for himself, so he could help him.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Dean said, turning over, even though Cas knew it probably really hurt.

"Here, why don't I call them, I'll show you they want you back, come one, let's call them." Cas said.

"No, just, " and then Dean was out again.

Cas sighed, this was a lot harder than he thought. He considered healing him while he was unconscious, but he knew it wouldn't help him. It would've just made him mad.

He then thought about taking him to hospital, but then he thought better of it, considered that Dean was dead a few times over and Cas wasn't even technically real, so that was quickly brought down.

Then he thought about just taking Dean back without having him healed. Or maybe he could get Sam in the phone to try to convince him, but then he remembered that Dean thinks Sam hates him, so that also didn't really work out.

"Heal me..." Cas looked up and saw Dean looking at him, tears in his eyes, "please."

Cas smiled, "Of course." Cas put his fingers to Deans's head again, and before healing him, he looked at Dean. He nodded, and then he healed him. 

When Cas looked at Dean, all his cuts and bruises were gone, but his body was still covered in dirt. 

"Do you want to clean off?" Cas asked him. Dean only nodded. "Ok, I'll go start the shower, I'll be right back."

As he started walking away, Dean grabbed his wrist, "Don't leave me..." 

"I'm just going to start the shower Dean, I'll be right back, I promise." Cas tried to reassure him, but Dean didn't let go. "Want to come in with me?" 

Dean nodded and tried to get off the bed, but failed and almost fell. Cas caught him and wrapped his arm around his waste and Dean's arm around his neck and started walking to the bathroom. 

When they got there, he sat Dean in the toilet and started the shower. After testing it to make sure it was ok, he turned to Dean. "So, do you want me to leave, or?" Cas asked him.

"Stay, please..." Dean said.

"Ok, I'll wait. Do you, need help?" Dean nodded. "Ok, here." 

Cas started helping Dean out of his shirt, then helped him with his pants, but he decided to leave his boxers on.

After taking off his own clothes, he helped Dean into the shower. Dean rested against the shower wall while Cas helped clean him. From the way Dean looked, it seemed like he liked it best when Cas cleaned his hair, massaging his scalp and having every dirty thing that was in his hair cleaned out.

And when Cas cleaned his body, he felt so calm, relaxed. Better than he felt in a long time. 

When he finished cleaning him, Cas helped him out of the shower. Cas left the bathroom, which scared Dean, but then he came back with clothes.

"I always had extra clothes with me, for when I found you." Cas said looking up from at him from the clothes and smiled.

Cas then helped Dean pull his shirt on and over his head. It was one of Dean's old Metallica shirts. Then Cas helped him put on the pair of jeans he had brought. 

Once Dean was back in the bed, Cas decided to ask him when he wanted to leave.

"So, Dean, when do you want to leave?" 

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"When do you want to go back to Lebanon? See everyone?" 

Dean shook his head. "No. No they don't want to see me." 

"Of course they do Dean. I talked to them, they were so excited to see you!" Cas said.

Dean shook his head, "No, they don't. They hate me." Then Dean's stomach growled.

Of course Dean was hungry! He hadn't eaten for so long! "Do you want to eat something?" Cas asked.

Dean nodded. After getting into the cheap car Cas got, he looked for places to eat. After finding a diner, they stopped there.

"Do you have the money for this Cas?" Dean asked after they were seated in a booth.

"Don't worry about money, Dean, just eat." Cas said as the waiter came up. 

When she left, Cas wanted to ask Dean what happened, but didn't know how to do it.

"Dean, what happened?" Cas asked.

Dean looked down at the placemat that had a picture of a cartoon pig with a pile of pancakes. "He just, he made me do things... with my hands. And I saw it all." Dean said, lifting up his hands and looking at them as if they were covered in blood. In his mind, they probably were.

Cas knew everything with what Dean was talking about. The way he had got to Seattle was by following crazy and disastrous events, and the most recent one was in a city near Seattle. They were celebrating their town's 100th anniversary. 458 people died of a supposed terroist attack, though Cas knew better.

"You need to know, Dean, that wasn't you. It was Michael. You need to know that." Cas said.

"I saw children die, Cas, infants. He destroyed a hospital. Blocked all exits, and made everyone inside burn to death.

The Hospital Bombing in Glendale, New Jersey. Killed 1476 people. That was the second one the led Cas one his trail. He remembered seeing the effect of it it. There was no hospital, just a bunch of ash. There were at least 100 ambulances, 20 fire trucks, and multiple police cars. And he could never forget the people. There were angry people, crying people, shocked people. Dead people. It was horrible.

"It was horrible Cas. Just horrible." Dean said.

Then the waiter came and placed Dean's food in front of him. Cas made him get a big cheese burger, hoping to make him stronger. Cas didn't get anything.

Cas didn't know what to say after that. But then Dean started talking again.

"And that's the only time he would ever let me see anything. When he was killing people, hurting them." Dean said, pecking at the burger.

"I'm sorry Dean." After that, the rest of the time was silent.

When Dean finished, Cas paid and they left.

"Dean, I want to go back to Lebanon, and I think it will be good for you to see everyone again. Maybe you can talk to them." Cas said, hoping to convince Dean to go back.

"They won't want me back Cas. They hate me." Dean said.

"But Dean, do you really want to live without ever seeing them again?" Cas asked, "They don't want to. Let's call them, and then they'll tell you how much they want you back, how much they miss you." 

"Do you really think so?" Dean asked, looking at Cas.

"Of course I do. We could surprise them by coming back early. They'd be so exciting. What do you think?" Cas asked Dean.

Dean smiled, the nodded.

Cas smiled back, "Ok, I have to grab my stuff then we can leave."

Cas drove back to the motel and grabbed everything he had brought with him then returned the key. 

He then got back back in the car and started driving home.

 

 

About an hour in, Dean had fallen asleep, his head leaning against the window. Though he may have seen quite peaceful from the outside, the insider was much darker.

Dean was standing in the bunker, and he was covered in blood, but he didn't know who's it was. He started walking towards the kitchen were he saw more blood. _No, no, please, no..._

When he reached the source of the blood, he saw Jack. Laying sprawled out on the kitchen floor, completely gutted. _No, no, NO!_

Then he continued walking until he was in the dungeon. There was more blood. _No. no, no more, please, no more._

As he walked closer to it, he saw Mary, laying on the floor, guts falling out of her. _Please, no make it stop!_

Then he walked until he reached the war room, where on top of the table, lay Sam, his baby brother, who he was supposed to protect, also gutted. _Noooo! Not Sammy, anyone but Sammy!_

Then the door to the bunker opened, and in walked, himself, except it wasn't himself. It was Michael. _No._

_"Look what you did to your family, Dean. You killed them. Guess that's what happens when anyone gets close to you, isn't it. They end up dead."_

Michael then started walking down the steps, each one making Dean's heart race even quicker.

 _"I mean, look what you did to your dear friend Bobby,"_ One the other side of the room, he saw Bobby, laying on the ground with a bullet hole in his head. _"And Charlie,"_ Then he saw Charlie lying on the ground, gutted just like he and Sam had found her. _"And dear old Jo and Ellen, who had sacrificed themselves for a worthless cause,"_ Then he saw what he assumed were Jo and Ellen, but all he saw were two charred skeletons.

 _"And now look what your doing to your dear angel, Castiel."_  When Dean looked down, he saw Cas, his foot on his chest stopping him from getting up.

_"Please, Dean, you can see stop him, I know you can."_

_"Such a shame he has faith in you, it never got him anywhere, did it?"_

_"Come on, Dean, you can fight him."_ But Dean only pressed his foot down harder, causing Cas to start coughing.

_"Go on, Dean, just take him out of his misery."_

_"Dean, NO!"_

But it was too late. Dean had already started diging into Cas, using his hands as shovels and digging into his flesh. He heard Cas, screaming and in pain, but he didn't stop. Didn't stop until he stopped screaming, until he stopped moving. 

Then everything went black, and the only thing he could see were bodies of those he knew. Sam's, Bobby's, Mary's, all in circle surrounding him, and Cas, laying in front of him.

_"Now you know who's blood is on your hands."_

 

 

Dean woke up screaming, causing Cas jump and swerve, almost hitting another car that honked at him.

"Jesus, Dean, what's wrong?" Cas asked, still tense.

"Pull over, Cas, just pull over!" Dean yelled at him.

As soon as Cas pulled over, Dean jumped out, and threw up. Cas quickly got out and walked over to Dean, who was currently barfing up the burger he had eaten earlier.

"I'm sorry, Dean, I shouldn't have made you eaten that big of a burger immediately after not eating in six months." Cas said, trying to apologize.

"No, Cas, this isn't your fault, ok, I promise." Dean said, taking deep breaths.

"Well, what happened, why did you scream?" Cas asked.

"It was just a dream it's fine." Dean said, walking to get back to the car, but stumbling a little.

"Here, let me-" Cas started, walking to help Dean.

"No, Cas, just, don't. Ok?" Dean said, pushing Cas off him. He didn't want his dream to come true, it couldn't come true.

After being pushed away, Cas was offended, so he stopped, and got back into his own seat and started driving once Dean was inside.

"What was the dream?" Cas asked after about five minutes.

"It was nothing, ok, just a nightmare." Dean said, crossing his arms and turning away from Cas.

Cas scoffed. "Dean, no ordinary nightmare makes a person wake up screaming." Cas paused for a second. "Was it something that had to do with Michael?" 

Dean hesitated. Did he really want Cas to know that? Did he want him worrying about him? No, the answer was no. "It was nothing, Cas, I promise."

Cas had a hard time believing that, and while he could just look through Dean's thoughts, he thought better if it. It wouldn't help if Dean found out.

"You know, it will help if you talk about it. I know you don't like to, but I won't judge you, I promise." 

"I said it's fine Cas, ok, just drop it." Dean shouted at him.

Cas stopped, knowing it wasn't like arguing with a brick wall.

"Fine, Dean, just, know I'm here for you, ok?"

Dean didn't say anything.

After another two hours, they came to a rest area.

"Why did you stop?" Dean asked.

"Because you threw up everything you ate, so you need to eat." 

Dean didn't know if he could, his dream was still haunting him. He still felt like he wanted to throw up.

"It's fine, Cas, let's just keep going." That's the exact moment his stomach to growl.

Cas looked at him with his stupid emotionless smug face, like he knew he won and got out of the car. Dean soon followed. When he walked inside, he was hit with a mixture of dirty bathroom and pizza smell, that wasn't at all pleasant.

"It's smells, Cas." Dean tried telling him, put Cas just grabbed his wrist and pulled him farther inside.

"What do you want?" Cas asked, standing in front of the mini food court.

Dean looked around until he found somewhere there was burgers, and got another burger.

"Are you sure you want another burger? You threw up the last one." Cas stated as he they sat down and Dean started to eat.  

"That's exactly why I'm getting another one."'Dean said through bites of the burger.

Cas just rolled his eyes and started watching all the different people who were coming and going. People watching, he thought it was called.

When Dean finished, they started walking back to the car when a man stopped Dean.

"Hey, you!" A man called.

Both Cas and Dean turned around when they heard the man.

"Can we help you?" Cas asked him.

"Yeah, I'd like to tell this guy something." The man said, pointing to Dean, then he punched him, sending Dean to the ground.

"Hey!" Cas said, pushing the man, who immediately tried to come back and hit Dean again.

"Did you know, this man just stood there and watched as the people in town were being murdered! He just stood there, didn't do a thing to help anyone! My wife, and son died! You could've helped them!" By now, on lookers had stepped in and held the man back.

Dean had also gotten back up as well, and had walked over to the man, "I'm so sorry about what happened to your family." Dean said, tears starting to come to his eyes.

The man just spit in Dean's face and pulled away from the people who were holding him back and walked away.

Dean wiped away the spit and a few stray tears.

"Come one Dean, let's go." Cas said, pulling Dean away by his sleeve.

By the time they reached the car, Dean had started crying. Cas pulled him into a hug. And Dean hugged back, holdinlike he was for dear life.

"Look what I did Cas. Look at that man I hurt, I ruined his life, and I can't change that. I can't change anything." Dean sobbed out.

"No, Dean, you didn't do that, that was Michael. Michael did that, not you."

Then, Cas felt Dean's lips on his own, so soft and gentle, and then Cas pushed back, which made Dean kiss with more confidence. 

Then their lips separated, and they touched foreheads, and just breathed in each other.

"Thank you." Dean said. He leaned back into his seat, tears still staining his face.

Cas leaned back into his seat and started driving again, back to Lebanon, to home.

Throughout the rest of the car ride, Dean would sleep occasionally, and when he woke up, he was always scared, and screaming, and then Cas would pull over. 

And when he would Dean would cling to Cas and cry and Cas would kiss all over his face and tell him that it was ok, and no one was going to hurt him, not with him here.

After another ten hours, they were only an hour away from Lebanon, and Dean was growing restless.

"What if they don't want to see me? What if they don't like me, and they kick me out? What if-!" 

"Dean! It's fine, you'll be fine. They're going to be so happy to see you. They've missed you so much. Sam missed you so much, he didn't even shave." Cas said, hoping to make Dean smile.

Dean did smile, and it was the best thing in the world in Cas's eyes.

Dean got hungry again, so they went to a diner that was close by.

"Only 45 more minutes, Dean, are you excited?" Cas asked once they were seated.

Dean nodded. "They're probably going to be so surprised."

"I'm sure they will. They missed you so much, you know?"

Dean smiled again.

 

 

45 minutes later and they had pulled up into the bunker's driveway.

"Here we are, are you ready?" Cas asked as they were getting out of the car.

Dean nodded, "Yeah, I am." Dean said closing the door.

They walked up to the door and opened it. When they walked in, they saw Sam sitting in the war room. He looked up, and smiled the biggest smile.

"Dean! Sam said standing up.

Dean walked ahead of Cas and to his brother, bringing him down while hugging him.

Then Mary and Jack walked in. "Sam, honey, who was th- DEAN!" Mary yelled and ran up to her son and hugged him tight. 

While Mary was hugging Dean, Jack went over and hugged Cas, happy to have him back.

Then Mary hugged Cas and thanked him for bringing her boy home. Cas hugged her back and told her he was happy to do it.

Now seeing what was waiting for him, Dean wished he had come back sooner. He hadn't realized how much he had missed his family. 

He hadn't realized how much he had missed being **home.**

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first time writing a one shot, so I hope it was good. It kinda scared me how easily I wrote that dream scene, but we don't need to think about that...


End file.
